I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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