New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
