? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
