My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
