And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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