I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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