You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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