Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
