Someone shit on the floor
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
