We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just want nice things and good sex
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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