You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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