I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
