do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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