I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
