At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
