i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
