I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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