I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
