All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
