People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
