dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
