I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
