Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
