she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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