I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
