Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize