you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm just crazy horny about you
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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