Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
