he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
