She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My ATM looks so different sober.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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