you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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