It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He? As in you personified your dick?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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