Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
