I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
