Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It's Friday. Sex?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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