sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
