That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
