I can tuck mytits in my pants
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
