so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
