I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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