I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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