Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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