My friends, they love my intelligence
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
