Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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