sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
