No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Randomize
