I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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