So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
