i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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