hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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